I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
