I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
