Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dignity is for republicans.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
So. Much. Porn.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
