So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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