Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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