During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
