I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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