How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize