Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
