I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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