You work out of a Hotel?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
sarcasm needs its own font
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
