so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
