I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
