Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
