WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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