the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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