somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
