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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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