Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
