Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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