Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
