That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
