I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
