Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You are the jesus of drinking
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
