I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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