so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
