I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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