just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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