Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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