he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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