Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize