Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
