I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm at about main and main street
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Someone signed my nipple.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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