oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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