I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
