Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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