Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
