never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
