I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
