I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize