Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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