I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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