i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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