Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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