he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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