I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
