she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize