So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
