Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
