some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
