I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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