He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
