you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
