I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
