Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
