Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
