you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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