We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
