I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
