Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize
