this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
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They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
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