today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
