bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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