you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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